Dear Lola,
I have a candy jar that I keep on the coffee table in my living room. I restock the jar routinely and typically eat a piece or two a day. I recently had some friends over and after dinner we were watching a movie and playing board games. One of my friends reached over to the jar and helped herself to two pieces of candy. She didn’t ask or acknowledge her actions in any way. Later in the evening, she again ate two more pieces of candy. I was so shocked because it would never occur to me to take candy from someone’s house without asking or it being offered to me. I wanted to say something at the moment but I was afraid of making everybody feel awkward. What should I have done in this situation?
Sincerely,
Candy Calamity
Dear Candy Calamity,
You may not be quite ready for hostessing if you’re laying a trap for your guests. And what a trap it was! Not only did you put out delicious candies, but you encased them in a gorgeous piece of glass which draws the eye. You went one step further and provided an evening of activity within fingers reach of that trap.
This is a level of diabolical only seen on major holidays when the pie becomes scarce!
You did not indicate whether you lived alone, but I am assuming so since you expect the candy jar to be untouched by hands other than your own. Living amongst other humans, you would be more accustomed to seeing the jar opened frequently and raided for tasty tidbits. You would also have long gotten over the dismay of watching someone take the last piece of candy that you were hoping to snatch up later in the evening before bed. Those delicious delicacies would have been safely secured in a special hiding spot no one knows about…
As a canine, I know all about securing the best morsels where my humans will never find them.
Let’s not pretend your friend raided your pantry and ate through a week’s worth of snacks in an hour. She snagged a total of four tiny pieces of candy over the course of what sounds like an evening of entertainment. You did not mention any post-dinner snacks, but I would like to point out that a good hostess will typically provide a small selection of refreshments for those who may not be full from dinner. One never knows if a guest was merely being polite and pretending that the main dish served was delicious.
While you are clutching your pearls over a fabricated faux pas, your friend may very well be discussing leaving your home hungry.
The only acceptable thing you could have said during that first moment when your friend launched a full scale war on your candy jar is ‘Please, help yourself!’ Then, with a warm and welcoming smile upon your face, you move on to the next portion of the evening’s entertainments. The entire existence of a candy jar in a living room is for guests to snag a sweet tidbit as they socialize in your home.
Hide your favorite pieces and be ready to sacrifice the rest for the good of polite society.
♥Lola♥
For those who are following the news of the Great Candy Calamity of 2026, the total KitKat candy bar haul stolen in Europe was 413,793 candy bars. Each package is traceable, and the company is dedicating an entire division of workers to tracking down the culprits. The last Great Candy Heist was several years back and that man is serving a stiff sentence behind bars. Meanwhile, the royals jewels stolen from the Louvre last year have yet to be glimpsed in public and no leads being reported to follow up on. It seems the humans have finally recognized the real priorities in life and diamonds are not one of them. Long live the candy bar!
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Shank You Very Much 